Sorry for your loss Heidi. I was in a similar position but did not have the capacity to view this from a higher perspective. Your four stages of Awakening and Caring is the story of Persephone rising during midlife.
This is such an important post, Heidi - and beautifully told. I love your four stages of "Awakening and Caring" - it's clear and powerful. The caregivers I have known well never attained the latter two stages. They totally depleted themselves. I was more concerned for them than the person who was ill. I have a feeling it was largely generational - it was expected that women give and keep giving no matter what. I think (hope!) that is changing. I am so happy that you are taking such good care of yourself. I am sure that taking the time to do that helps you be present with your mother (and her boyfriend!) and your uncle. You are amazing...!! 😍
Thank you, Cathy! I think many of us learn the hard way (I have most certainly depleted myself in the past). My sense is that expectation persists for women to be selfless through my generation (Gen X) too.... caregiving is still so gendered. For me, though, this is version 2.0, and I am trying to use the wisdom of the last round to make this one more sustainable. Also version 1.0 was with my mum (so many more complicated emotional layers unearthed there, and I was coming in drained from marriage breakup and a failed + taxing fertility journey...). While I don't want to present myself as "perfect" this round, I am much more aware and trying to be creative with the circumstances. I am also asking the universe for a pass on any future version 3.0. as another growth opportunity :).
Sorry for your loss Heidi. I was in a similar position but did not have the capacity to view this from a higher perspective. Your four stages of Awakening and Caring is the story of Persephone rising during midlife.
Thank you, Chitra, that’s very thoughtful.
Beautiful message Heidi- heartfelt and helpful!! 🙏
This is so clear and true -- resonated really deeply. Thank you
This is such an important post, Heidi - and beautifully told. I love your four stages of "Awakening and Caring" - it's clear and powerful. The caregivers I have known well never attained the latter two stages. They totally depleted themselves. I was more concerned for them than the person who was ill. I have a feeling it was largely generational - it was expected that women give and keep giving no matter what. I think (hope!) that is changing. I am so happy that you are taking such good care of yourself. I am sure that taking the time to do that helps you be present with your mother (and her boyfriend!) and your uncle. You are amazing...!! 😍
Thank you, Cathy! I think many of us learn the hard way (I have most certainly depleted myself in the past). My sense is that expectation persists for women to be selfless through my generation (Gen X) too.... caregiving is still so gendered. For me, though, this is version 2.0, and I am trying to use the wisdom of the last round to make this one more sustainable. Also version 1.0 was with my mum (so many more complicated emotional layers unearthed there, and I was coming in drained from marriage breakup and a failed + taxing fertility journey...). While I don't want to present myself as "perfect" this round, I am much more aware and trying to be creative with the circumstances. I am also asking the universe for a pass on any future version 3.0. as another growth opportunity :).
I am right there with you asking the Universe to spare you further versions. May your remaining growth opportunities be joyous ones!