(edited) This is beautiful as always, and deeply resonant. Your writing voice itself has a quality of nurturing. With all due respect to your yoga teacher, I feel the comment "especially if you are mothers..." let’s say…gives me pause. I look forward to a time when people can be more inclusive and mindful of their language.
Thank you, Jen! Yes, I find it all can be so tricky, these days and times, I find myself also making assumptions often and finding I have room for learning how what I say lands with different people. Like you, I have so many child-free friends who exemplify the nurturing and tending that the world needs, and you are one of them- happy to have your company!
Thank you! Agree, and I'll add I've learned that sometimes I need to be less exacting in my language and more flexibly listen for the intention underneath.
There is so much here that I found profoundly meaningful, Heidi - a truly beautiful post! I love your thinking around nourishment and it got me thinking. My mother was a terrific cook and food was the way she showed love. Unfortunately, she had challenges being emotionally available - a bigger “job description” for effective mothering. That set me up for decades of comforting myself with food. Fortunately, I have learned to mother myself, as you have said. Being there for myself is still a work in progress, but it is becoming easier. BTW, I also learned that I needed to be my own wife. There was so much I gave and gave and gave to my now ex-husband with very little in return. I give to others by nature and totally enjoy that. Now I give myself permission to also give to myself - and it feels so good!!
Thank you, Cathy. My mum also nourished with food - both the creating, giving and receiving, and I do too! I have been noticing more of a reach for this as comfort lately, and it’s such an interesting balance point- this topic of food as medicine, as comfort and also potentially replacement. Pithy stuff. I can certainly tell you do such a beautiful job of mothering yourself (and others) I learn from this when I read your writing- it comes through.
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Heidi. 😉I still grapple with the concept of mothering myself or anyone else - probably because I knew as even an adolescent that I did not want to have children. A psychic once told me that I had a past life in which I was literally like the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, and that I chose to opt out of motherhood this lifetime. I have no clue if that is true, but it makes a great story! 💕
Thanks for sharing what you aer and have been going through Dr. Heidi. This was moving and opened my eyes to what it is like to have someone you care about have dementia in much more vivid terms.
I'm sorry to hear that all this care for others has been on your plate, but it does sound like it brought on some deep self reflection and self-discovery for yourself and a balancing for your own self-care when your cup was overflowing.
Sending positive vibes and hugs your way and looking forward to your next piece.
This is so kind, Melanie, thank you. I do feel expanded internally by this experience - as I am sure you are by many challenges, even though they are taxing and at times we so wish they were more gentle, less steep, there are certainly gifts that come through that maybe wouldn’t otherwise. I so appreciate your positive vibes and feel them from across the page!
(edited) This is beautiful as always, and deeply resonant. Your writing voice itself has a quality of nurturing. With all due respect to your yoga teacher, I feel the comment "especially if you are mothers..." let’s say…gives me pause. I look forward to a time when people can be more inclusive and mindful of their language.
Thank you, Jen! Yes, I find it all can be so tricky, these days and times, I find myself also making assumptions often and finding I have room for learning how what I say lands with different people. Like you, I have so many child-free friends who exemplify the nurturing and tending that the world needs, and you are one of them- happy to have your company!
Thank you! Agree, and I'll add I've learned that sometimes I need to be less exacting in my language and more flexibly listen for the intention underneath.
There is so much here that I found profoundly meaningful, Heidi - a truly beautiful post! I love your thinking around nourishment and it got me thinking. My mother was a terrific cook and food was the way she showed love. Unfortunately, she had challenges being emotionally available - a bigger “job description” for effective mothering. That set me up for decades of comforting myself with food. Fortunately, I have learned to mother myself, as you have said. Being there for myself is still a work in progress, but it is becoming easier. BTW, I also learned that I needed to be my own wife. There was so much I gave and gave and gave to my now ex-husband with very little in return. I give to others by nature and totally enjoy that. Now I give myself permission to also give to myself - and it feels so good!!
💕💖💕
Thank you, Cathy. My mum also nourished with food - both the creating, giving and receiving, and I do too! I have been noticing more of a reach for this as comfort lately, and it’s such an interesting balance point- this topic of food as medicine, as comfort and also potentially replacement. Pithy stuff. I can certainly tell you do such a beautiful job of mothering yourself (and others) I learn from this when I read your writing- it comes through.
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Heidi. 😉I still grapple with the concept of mothering myself or anyone else - probably because I knew as even an adolescent that I did not want to have children. A psychic once told me that I had a past life in which I was literally like the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, and that I chose to opt out of motherhood this lifetime. I have no clue if that is true, but it makes a great story! 💕
Thanks for sharing what you aer and have been going through Dr. Heidi. This was moving and opened my eyes to what it is like to have someone you care about have dementia in much more vivid terms.
I'm sorry to hear that all this care for others has been on your plate, but it does sound like it brought on some deep self reflection and self-discovery for yourself and a balancing for your own self-care when your cup was overflowing.
Sending positive vibes and hugs your way and looking forward to your next piece.
This is so kind, Melanie, thank you. I do feel expanded internally by this experience - as I am sure you are by many challenges, even though they are taxing and at times we so wish they were more gentle, less steep, there are certainly gifts that come through that maybe wouldn’t otherwise. I so appreciate your positive vibes and feel them from across the page!
My pleasure Dr. Heidi. Wonderful piece.