Women won’t do it alone. We need the village.
In a world that often leaves us to figure it out solo, have you found ways—big or small—to co-create your village?
“It started when we were born...We expected forty pairs of eyes greeting us in the morning, and all we got was one or two… It is to our deep grief that the village did not appear.
Of course, we were disappointed in our parents—they needed a village, and so did we.”
-Francis Weller
Many of us never received the compassion and accompaniment our souls longed for.
And now we’re witnessing a global grief ripple through the world.
Fragile strongmen glorify individualism while they dismantle the systems of collective care that allow communities and countries to thrive.
The violent extraction of social, emotional, and communal resources can leave us depleted, exhausted, and disconnected.
But we aren’t accepting this as the end of the story.
Rebuilding the village
The antidote women have always employed is
in gathering, remembering, reweaving.
We know in our bones that we were never meant to do this alone
A few weeks ago, I met with a gathering of international women I connected with through Substack—our group calls itself the Substack Sirens (thank you,
🙏🏼). We spilled our grief. We shared laughter. We spoke about the compulsion to write, even when the world feels overwhelming.In that space, stretched across oceans, I felt the village.
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written here. ✨
So much has shifted—in the broader world, in my own life, and I imagine in yours too. 🌍
One truth keeps returning to me with clarity:
💫I know that I am not meant to go through this menopause transition + aging journey alone.
Yet our culture teaches us to go solo. To figure hard things out without authentic guides. To keep pushing through. 🚶♀️💨
But that model is breaking down. And in its place, something more ancient and more true is rising.
We need:
Connection.
Shared wisdom. The kind that comes from lived experience.
Space to speak freely, to be seen.
A sense of where and how our needs can be met.
A place in the larger story of this transition.
That’s why I’m dreaming into what comes next—
Midlife as a Gathering Point
In February, I hosted a gathering of 130 people for a screening of The (M) Factor documentary, followed by a very lively panel conversation about the menopause transition with three women doctors—each bringing a distinct lens on women’s health:
Myself, a naturopathic doctor with a background in cultural anthropology.
Dr. Sukhpreet Patel, an Ob-Gyn with a Master’s in Public Health, weaving clinical expertise with a broader view of systems
Dr. Jerilynn Prior, a legendary endocrinologist and founder of CEMCOR at UBC, whose decades of research have profoundly expanded our understanding of perimenopause and hormonal health
Together, we engaged in an honest, spacious dialogue—responding to thoughtful questions from the audience. It was a living example of how we begin to rebuild the village: by gathering, asking questions and remembering what becomes possible when we share our knowledge and experiences.
What’s Nourishing Me Lately
I’ve also been tending to my own roots—refilling the well in ways that remind me of what matters most. Some of that has involved travel.
☀️ A sun-soaked week in Baja, Mexico with a girlfriend and many whales 🐋.
♥️ A nostalgic visit to Santa Barbara to visit an old friend—woven with memories from many chapters of life ✨
🌳 A soulful retreat on Bowen Island with a circle of wise elders who have been gathering for 16 years. I’m newer to the group, and the youngest at the table. Every time I return home from these gatherings, I feel deeply spirit-fed.
I’m back now, planted for spring—grounded, inspired, and ready to co-create what’s next with The Pink Zones, I have been collecting many interviews I can’t wait to share with you in posts.
In these upside-down times, may we remember what it feels like to be accompanied—to listen with presence, to speak what’s real, and to slowly, lovingly rebuild the world we long for.
One gathering. One story. One moment of true connection at a time.
If you’ve found ways—big or small—to co-create your village, I’d love to hear.
Hit reply, or share in the comments. Your voice belongs in this story.
With love,
Heidi
And of course,
I’d love for you to join me at our monthly gathering on Zoom of:
…like a book club but easier! info and sign up here
✨ Let’s build the village maybe we didn’t have.
✨ Let’s create what we do need.
✨ Together.
Hello, Heidi. I’m so grateful for our little group and cannot wait to see everyone again. It’s funny - I’ve never been much of a joiner (at all), even in school where I existed mostly on the edges of the social scene. But something has shifted for me profoundly over the last few years. I don’t know if it was the experience of living through COVID, my daughter growing up (she just turned 21!!), the first horrific term of the current US president (and now this one), entering my mid fifties, going through menopause… so many possible factors. But now I am suddenly feeling the need for community in a way I never thought I would. And I am finding joy in the little pickets of time I spend with other women … and strength … and courage. Thank you for this post. I can’t wait to hear about all your adventures. 💜
What a beautiful post, Heidi. I am so happy we are part of each other's village! 💕